A COVID Wedding on Manhattan’s East River Waterfront

This Jewish wedding ceremony in the Kips Bay neighborhood of Manhattan took place during COVID, when even gathering with family and friends looked much different from what most couples had expected. Weddings continued, but the usual assumptions about how the ceremony would unfold had changed. Guest lists were smaller, masks were non-negotiable, and family members who would normally have been in the room were often watching through a screen.

But still, we forged ahead! I married Rebecca and Jordan in New York City, along the East River, with their families joining by Zoom and folks out for a walk stopping to join in the celebration.

Because we were masked, even the simplest parts of the ceremony required some forethought. Face coverings protected everyone, but they also changed the way our voices carried. When it came time to exchange vows, Rebecca and Jordan briefly removed their masks to make sure they could hear each other, and also took a few steps back to maintain social distancing. It was practical and careful, but also very moving.

Even though ketubah artists and companies weren’t operating at full capacity during the earliest months of the pandemic, I was able to track down a text that the couple agreed upon and get it printed in time for all of us to sign. This addition to the morning felt especially grounding, since the words helped give shape to the shapeless and meaning to their future during a time of profound uncertainty.

I also sang the Sheva Brachot (Seven Blessings), whose ancient words about love, companionship, community, and the building of a shared life drew some curious looks from strangers strolling along the river. While I’ve sung publicly many times, I have to say that performing Jewish ritual to a crowd of onlookers, most of whom I have to assume weren’t Jewish, was a new one for me! Still, the crowd clapped along and celebrated with Rebecca and Jordan. In a time of such isolation, it was super sweet to see people coming together to recognize a moment of joy.

The couple also exchanged rings, following the Jewish tradition of using a simple, unbroken band to symbolize the commitments they were making to one another. The ceremony concluded, as Jewish weddings traditionally do, with the breaking of the glass, a ritual that reminds us that even in moments of tremendous happiness, we remain mindful of the brokenness of the world around us. In the midst of a pandemic, that symbolism felt especially relevant.

The Jewish wedding rituals gave us a framework for the ceremony, even under unusual circumstances. Although so much about the day had changed, the familiar words and practices connected the couple to generations of Jewish weddings that had come before them. And, since Jewish communities have had to travel and adapt throughout history, it honestly didn’t feel that out-of-the-box to be performing a Jewish ceremony in this out-of-the-box way!

During COVID, I saw time and again how important ritual can be when so much else feels unknown. Ritual can’t make difficult circumstances disappear, but it can give people a way to mark what matters. We recite words that have been said for generations, pause to acknowledge a sacred moment, a life transition, or a milestone, and gather even when things look very different from what we had planned.

Looking back, this wedding reminds me that lifecycle rituals do not always happen under ideal circumstances, but rather in real life, with all of its change and disappointment. COVID weddings involved real loss. But still—even during such an uncertain time, this couple found a way to mark the beginning of their married life together in a way that retained the authenticity, beauty, and love that brought them together in the first place.