How to Choose Which Rituals to Include in Your Interfaith Wedding Ceremony

Choosing your own rituals for an interfaith wedding allows you to create a ceremony that feels meaningful, personal, and in alignment with your and your partner’s values and traditions. While this process ensures the ceremony will be significant, it can also introduce some complexity.

After many years of helping couples to get it just right, I've learned that interfaith weddings are about more than just two people coming together. They’re about two families, two traditions, and two sets of memories merging to build a new shared future. Choosing which rituals to include is one of the most important (and most rewarding) parts of this journey.

The first thing I always tell couples is that this is your moment to weave things together. It’s not necessarily about adhering to strict traditions or meeting others' expectations. It’s about creating something that feels like home to you both. You want to honor your roots while also reflecting the new family you’re building together.

When considering which rituals to include, it's important to choose those that hold personal significance. Tradition offers many beautiful options, such as the blessing over the wine, which symbolizes sweetness and joy, two essentials for any marriage. The chuppah is another deeply meaningful tradition: a canopy representing the home you’ll build, or are already building, together. It can be as simple or as elaborate as you like; some couples use a family tallit as the chuppah roof, making it extra personal. Some ask their family members or closest friends to hold up the poles of the chuppah during the ceremony, signifying their support. 

There’s also the breaking of the glass. This moment is often misunderstood as simply a fun tradition, but its deeper meaning is profound. It symbolizes the fragility of our world and our duty to help heal it, just as you promise to support each other in your new life together.

Wrapping yourselves in a tallit is another option. It’s a beautiful way to feel the presence of those who came before you, and to symbolize being watched over and protected, almost like a spiritual hug from generations past.

On the Christian side, there are many meaningful symbols and rituals that can be included. Many couples choose to light a unity candle, which represents two families coming together as one bright flame. Some also include a meaningful reading from the New Testament. I typically invite a Christian family member, perhaps the bride’s brother or a close friend, to share this reading. It's always an honor to help create space for these special moments and see loved ones participate.

At the end of the ceremony, there’s an opportunity to merge traditions beautifully. In Judaism, the final blessing is called the Priestly Benediction, while in the Christian tradition, it is similar to what’s often called the Lord’s Prayer. Often I’ll chant the Hebrew version and invite a Christian family member to read an English translation. In that moment, everyone can feel included, honored, and connected.

Choosing the appropriate rituals involves a thoughtful process of exploration and reflection, for which I provide my couples with resources such as books, online guides, and examples from other ceremonies. We talk thoughtfully about what speaks to them. Sometimes they’re inspired by something they saw at a friend’s wedding; other times, it’s about family heirlooms. 

For example, you might have a cherished kiddush cup passed down through generations, even one that traveled from The Old Country or survived hard times and escaped with family members. That piece alone can shape the vibe of the ceremony, making the wine blessing a central ritual that brings sweetness into the couple’s present life together, and into the future as well.

If you don’t have a tallit or a family ritual item, (which is perfectly okay!), you might choose instead to focus on something new, like writing personal vows or creating a shared reading that symbolizes your journey together. Or perhaps you’re receiving a kiddush cup as a wedding gift. The wedding ceremony is the perfect time to introduce and “break in” that item—hopefully the first of many times it will be used in your new family’s Jewish journey!

There is no one-size-fits-all formula for interfaith weddings. Your ceremony should reflect who you are as a couple: where you come from, what you value, and the new life you’re stepping into together.

When planned and performed thoughtfully, an interfaith wedding ceremony isn’t just a blend of two traditions—It’s a living, breathing expression of love and unity. And when you look out and see your guests smiling, wiping away tears, and leaning in to listen, you'll know you've found the perfect rituals for your ceremony.